When Love No Longer Holds.
Everyone has a price, but love is not a game of dice. You gave them your true love prize, but in return they stabbed you with heartbreak surprise. We all remember that irresistible person we once met and felt a sparkle, believing they are the one and saw a match made in heaven.
That one person who made you forget your problems, your worries, even almost forgetting your family. That one person who made you feel you could trade them for nothing, for you believed they completed your world. That one person who made you end up digging your way into trouble and creating your own prison.
The small prison of love. You love and forget that it is a real person you are dealing with, someone who has their flaws, their bad days and their moody moments. Just another human being like you. It is only your commitment that binds you, makes you close and makes you feel one! If the love is gone, your relationship ends there. And then, you start viewing them differently.
The biggest blunder in love is that we never seem to be in a sober state. We just see the outside beauty, forgetting that that person had a life before you met them, still has and will always have after you. We forget that the energies we put in there are sometimes unnecessary. If only we allowed our minds to work alongside the heart, analyze the situations we dip ourselves into, confirm the partner’s life situations, try to reason together and get to be sure if it’s truly love and if they are really worth the sacrifice.
Starting a relationship is like starting to cook. To cook a good meal, you need to take time and get all groceries right. You need time and a good fire suitable for the cooking. If instant coffee is your choice, go into an instant relationship. Its love comes cheap too. But remember, it’s unhealthy. You will hurt each time you go into it.
Avoid it, for your love of God is not instant either. He came to you and He had to go through it all to keep a relationship with you. Do not go into an instant relationship. It’s always advisable to be sober in all life decisions and, remember, whatever comes easy goes much more easily. As they say Rome was not built in a day. Why, then, do you want to build your future based on a glance? Time makes and time breaks, but how patient are you to learn your partner?
Ironically, reality hits us when someone wrongs us, shows their true colors or disregards us, when they show you they are not what you came to love, what you dedicated yourself to. It hits us when the differences rise above level, when all calls end in arguments. It is then that you start realizing your mind was asleep when you had the chance to make a choice. You realize that the people who told you to think twice had reasons, they were not jealous like you thought. No. They were just trying to be real friends.
That’s when it dawns on you that every person finds something to keep them in a relationship. Some are there for a ride, a good life, companionship and just so that they aren’t bored. Others are there for convenience, just because you are reliable. It could be an opportunity to rise up the ladder. They are wise enough to know the importance of networking. They are bright enough to know that with you, they can get what they want in life.
It is good to accept reality, which most of us hate. When we meet the ‘dream’ partner, we forget all the above and we do and get into anything and everything to make them happy. We do not think of their upbringing, their lifestyles, religion, traditions or, probably, that the negative reactions from their families can affect us.
Look at her mother. Your love interest may not be far from that. Yes, look at his father. He almost defines your partner. But we just love and leave it at that. We invest heavily, forgetting the marketing rules. That it’s a fellow human being who, maybe, got all they were looking for and you compromised and got nothing you wanted.
We are often blinded by the physical beauty, but eventually we realize that the message written in someone’s heart and the level of kindness plays a big role in our lives. It’s a wakeup call to just see beyond the smile, the beauty, the wallet and the “dream partner” in your world. Love in a real way or get yourself into a ditch with own created problems.
Remember Cynthia Occelli’s words, “For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”
By Wairimu Chege