Wedding Patrol

“Your wedding is not an emergency!” That’s what you need to be told by anyone who has your best interests at heart. Not a congratulatory note or a pleasant chat when funds are not available, not an arm around the shoulder or a friendly smile when the whole process is simply getting too complicated.

What you need is a firm grip around your head and a piercing look straight into your eyes, with brutal honesty breathing sense into your emotional being, advising you that money is like jet fuel, wedding the take off and marriage the flight. You don’t want a perfect take off only to run out of fuel midway your journey.

Take back that wisdom that has gone out of the window leaving its clothes behind. Realize that medical bills are emergencies, school fees probably. Weddings aren’t. You can always postpone your wedding day. Forget the availability of a suitable date in your church’s wedding calendar, forget what your peers and haters will say about that hiccup. It’s your day after all.

You want to be with your better half for eons till death, or human nature, does you part. Why, then, rush into organizing that memorable day? That it has to happen on a particular date? The love of your life still desires to be yours forever, no? Hastily planned weddings put immense pressure on everyone involved, including the two families. Your parents need to enjoy the occasion, not breath relief when it’s all over.

An expensive wedding is optional, not requisite. You don’t have to go for the pre-wedding that has morphed into a goat-eating ceremony to raise more cash, or turn your committee into a fund-raising team. They are there for logistics, with their financial contribution limited to voluntary.

Don’t push on with it with an undeniable feeling that your social capital investment will bail you out. They probably won’t. If funds are lacking, reduce your budget to within your means or get a later date, not sending a universal message to everyone in your phonebook. Finances, or lack of, tend to bring out negative emotions between the bride and groom-to-be, igniting fights that may go beyond the ceremony. More money will be needed after the vows.

It’s for you to make personal sacrifices. Shrink the number of guests or the size of the cake. Get a cheaper venue or décor. Heck, even the AG will do, or a ceremony after the church service on Sunday. If you still want to have a grandiose event, do know that it will require some time. A wedding/marriage is never a surprise.

It’s not about waking up one day, proposing to your better half and having a ceremony or setting up a date. There’s also the due dowry process to be followed, based on the traditions of the respective families. Take time to understand it. Know what is required as the irreducible minimum, for it’s usually embarrassing when negotiations break down with your D-day fast approaching. When parents refuse to sanction the wedding to go ahead, what happens next? Do you elope? Do you proceed with the wedding plans?

You need wisdom to know how to go about bringing your marital desires to fruition. You need to start planning everything in advance, taking time to ensure a process with as few hiccups as possible. Not having a poor plan and making it everyone’s emergency. Wedding preparations should be enjoyable, the day commencing the honeymoon phase. And that is what makes it very memorable.