Call of Duty: Hubby’s Debrief

11 Apr

Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

All eyes are on you and, like a star, you revel in it. A camera follows you in the house, following your every step, and you remain coolly undetached, a man on a mission. You are the head of the house, the alpha male, the king of your small kingdom, and every living being in that household should receive that particular memo. After all your word is law.

You sit down and service comes to you lightning fast from the missus of the house, your wife. The stew’s cold, take it back, you belch. Oh, forget it’s the wee hours of the night. It doesn’t matter to you, does it? After all you paid the dowry, she needs to submit to you, doesn’t she?

Hold it.

There may be three verses that talk about wives submitting to their husbands, but there are seven that talk about God’s command for husbands to love their wives. Even He knew it; it’s easier for a wife to submit than it is for a husband to love. And since God commands obedience, He expects that husbands loving their wives will be followed to the letter.

Listen. It has to be sincere, the love you claim to show to your wife. Whatever else may be said of your role as the head of the house, there’s no saving grace if you do not treat her good, if you don’t reflect what God’s love is. Your love needs to be unselfish, as you dedicate yourself to doing what is best for your missus.

Love her in a way that brings out the best in her, that evokes her beauty, that makes her whole. Lead her in the right direction as you make her blossom in her life. Trust your wife to have your best interests in her heart. Don’t be proud, there’s nothing wrong in letting her have an opinion or thought that doesn’t agree with yours.

She’s not your servant, she’s your wife. So please stop giving orders while bumming in your couch, as she works in the house with your child strapped on her back. She’s not your servant, so learn to let her make some decisions, learn to use her input as well. Actually, learn to involve her before making any decisions. Intelligence was one of the attraction factors, right?

Your love for your wife should be marked by giving, not getting. You need to demonstrate servant leadership. Helping around in the house doesn’t reduce your headship. Serving her, warming her bath, cooking a descent meal doesn’t make you a lesser man. No. It takes a secure man to be sacrificial, it takes a loving husband to know his place.

So, you’ve had a fight, an emotional draining argument. Who’s responsibility is it to initiate reconciliation? That’s right, the husband’s. Whenever there’s drama in the house, it’s your duty to apologize and make peace. Didn’t Christ seek reconciliation by dying for our sake, even though it was man who had rebelled?

Forget what your peers will say about you. After all, once the night settles in, they’ll be gone back to their homes, they’ll treat their wives as they so desire. You’ll be left with that one person who will stick with you till death do you part, that one person who will be by your side through thick and thin, long after your friends have deserted you.

Love your wife as you love yourself, whether she submits to you or not. Be faithful to her, trust her and be patient with her. She’s your full partner, not a possession to serve your every desire.

Love her unconditionally, and treat her like the best gift God has ever given to you.

Husbands, each of you must dedicate yourself to your wife and to her goods, you must purpose and do those things that are best for her, whether you like her or not, no matter how she treats you, even if it kills you, just as Christ dedicated and gave his life to the church.


Posted by on April 11, 2012 in Relationships


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12 responses to “Call of Duty: Hubby’s Debrief

  1. wanjoro

    April 11, 2012 at 12:54 pm

    Munene, as usual your writing leaves me nodding in agreeement and wishing so many more men would actually realise the true meaning of those words. thanks for the writing and keep it up!

    • Munene Gangi

      April 11, 2012 at 1:02 pm

      @wanjoro, thank you for your compliment and for visiting. True, we need many more men to realize what it means to love their wives.

  2. wa muchiri

    April 11, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    I see we are back with a bang!

  3. anniespice

    April 11, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    Preach brother. Nice one. Well said too….. hope you and the menfolk practice 🙂 what a happy home it would be full of love and submission 🙂

  4. Anonymous

    April 11, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    How many years have u been married? You know me I am a realist,all of the above is easier said than done.,but great writing.keep it up.

  5. anonymous gal

    April 12, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    Love is more than a feeling. It is the simple, deliberate actions done on a daily basis as stated here by Munene. For example, helping your wife with dinner when she has had a long day.

    For those in relationships, choose to love your better half unconditionally one day at a time…and the results will amaze you.

  6. Munene Gangi

    April 12, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    @Anonymous, there are so many things that are easier said than done. It’s easier saying you’ll pass your exams, but when you get down to it, you have to work it out. And that’s the bottom line. Husbands need to love their wives, it’s not about being realist, it’s about being purposeful and making it work. Just like what @anonymous gal has mentioned, one day at a time. Thank you for visiting.

  7. Project44

    April 12, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    ‘Preach on’ MG! I like the 3rd last paragraph, after the doors are closed and shut and everyone is in their earthly abode, they do as they desire……(until the wife carries the news about how her husband ran her a bubble bath and shares it with the neighbour ;))

  8. Fearless Nazirite

    July 5, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    ulala i so loved this post…not because i am a woman who’s benefiting from it 🙂 but because this is a Godly outlook of a man. as one who has lived in the presence of the man described above, my dad, i can tell you with no doubt in my mind, when a man leads his house with love, unselfishness and commitment, a woman blossoms, children grow confident …and the guy has so much peace of mind 🙂 …no divorce papers slapped on his face, no poorly behaved kids, no drama in the house, no nagging …but… a big but… it is very difficult. it takes work…something which our generation, both men and women are seemingly allergic to. lovely post 🙂

    • Munene Gangi

      July 5, 2012 at 5:12 pm

      Haha, I agree. We seem allergic to working out our marriages, because marriage are serious work. Do you think it’s as a result of ‘instant’ mentality?

      • Fearless Nazirite

        July 5, 2012 at 5:34 pm

        no… not really. our generation just refuses to grow up. en then the fatherhood crisis does not help us…an unfathered, poorly fathered generation is a disaster… en we seem not to be waking up.


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