The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook. ~William James
Surely, you must be cream-crackered by now, what with the never ending stories of mistrust creeping into our marriages. You question yourself, down to the bone marrow, whether it will take divine intervention or willing mortal beings to get rid of it.
Our airwaves are clogged with overtones that only a harebrained man can put property in the names of his wife. It seems likely that most men love their wives so much there’s no sufficient room to trust them. Yes, I know. It sounds strange bordering on the absurd. But that’s the happenings in the realms of reality.
Finance and wealth are ripping apart the pillars of marital bliss. Prenuptial agreements are reigning supreme, and the men who miss that bus because they were busily being consumed by the love inferno when tying the knot, are now opting to register their property under the names of their parents, siblings or children. Few seem to trust that woman simply known as the wife.
Why then get married to her in the first place? What kind of love is it that you share with her? How can you claim to love your wife if you cannot trust her, not only with yourself, but also with what you have? Marrying such a person would then be more than an exercise in blind faith. You are better off living alone.
Men, even those yet to taste marriage, feel vindicated. True, there are those women who will milk their husbands to death. True, they’ll be in it because they are materialistic, and if the poor man’s soul departs from the face of the earth, she’ll claim the whole estate. And true, she’ll get married to another man who will enjoy the fruits of your hard labor.
But it takes lack of wisdom to think that every woman out there is the same as above. You spent your energies chasing your wife. Now that you have her, you are spending more energy keeping everything from her. Yet, this is the one person who takes care of you, the one person who is with you through thick and thin, through sickness, poverty and unemployment.
This is the one who takes care of your home, the mother of your children, the one who doesn’t harm you when you are so vulnerable in your sleep and lost in your dreams. This the one person you don’t trust to share your wealth with, the one who, you think, has made you have one hand on the marriage exit door.
Let’s be honest with ourselves. Many times we are at fault for listening to every voice out there. We take in the vitriol poured by others without sifting through it. These noises overwhelm our thinking making doubt creep in. We then try to authoritatively implore that our wives are in it for the money and will not take care of our kids in the event of our demise.
So you register your property in the names of your parents, thinking that when you pass away, they’ll be the best bet to taking care of your children. Surely, who can do a better job of nurturing and providing for these kids than the one who gave birth to them?
Has it crossed your mind that if your parents are gone as well, relatives may come and take everything, including spoons and toilet rolls, leaving your children paupers? That they’ll deem it as their inheritance your hard earned wealth?
Seriously, anyone who thinks a woman cannot be trusted is withering from lack of exposure. If you can register your property under your mother or daughter, you are simply contradictory. Again, picture this: so you register your property under your sons. Cut from the same cloth, they end up not trusting their wives, but register the same property under their mother.
That’s right. Your wife, the same woman you couldn’t trust has everything you owned registered in her names. Boomerang.
Listen. Trust issues have a ripple effect. Once your wife feels you don’t trust her, she might as well borrow a leaf from the same tree. Wonder no more why she would keep a bank account unknown to you. She’s in an untrustworthy marriage and buffering herself in case of any eventualities.
Maybe we need to be reminded what marriage is all about. But remember, there are those in happy marriages out there. Hear them out too. For those planning to get into matrimony, know the character of your wife-to-be, such that when you say your marriage vow, you will truly mean every bit of it.
It doesn’t help subjecting your rib to the same treatment handed by others. Trust her. Let’s also teach our sons to respect and trust their wives, for we wouldnt want our daughters going through the same ordeal. Like Project44 would say, let’s restore sanity in our relationships.
Only a thought.